Emma Mae

Mae comes from my Grandma, my real dad's mother. I love my step-dad, my real dad died when I was almost 7, and my mom remarried when I was 8 1/2. My grandma, Collie Mae, was one of the sweetest ladies I've ever known. So when I found out that my baby was going to be a girl, I decided to find a name I liked with Mae. Emma was my choice...

She is such a sweet girl, she is my gift and I can't imagine life without her. When I lost our baby boy in June of 04, my heart was overwhelmed. In October when I found out I was expecting, my heart was fearful...When I finally made it to 20 weeks I felt relief!From the day she was born I knew she was a special gift, she always had a sweet spirit about her. The first time she smiled her whole face lit up...and it still does!

If the Lord had not have taken precious Andrew to heaven, I would have missed out on the special blessing of Emma...so I learned this truth: sometimes we have to face difficult times, and lose something precious, in order to gain a sweet gift.

I am so thankful for the gift of motherhood. The Lord has been good to me...

Choices...Decisions...Paths

February 13th, 1993 was the day I married my best friend. People talk about how amazing their first year of marriage is, us...not so much. But I'm so thankful that I can say that 3 days before our first anniversary was a day that literally changed our lives...our family tree was changed forever. February 10th, 1994--I'll never forget that night, you see we were once the people who when we saw "the church people" coming we wouldn't answer the door. The ones who literally would hide and be very quiet just to avoid the "visit"! (I kinda chuckle to myself when I'm on visitation and knock on the door and all of a sudden everything stops on the other side, I wanna say it's ok, we really don't bite! I was once that person!) So back to my story...Bro Sam Varghese and his wife Diane had contacted us several times wanting to come visit, we always had a reason why it wasn't convenient, but on this night, February 10th, I told Shane "maybe we should just let them come over and then they will leave us alone." Shane agreed and they came over. We had been visiting Calvary Baptist Church in Knob Noster since September. Shane was always the quiet one, me well I could talk to anyone... :) Thankfully there were some men who sought him out even when he would head straight to the car. I remember he would leave church under conviction and asking me questions, I would say maybe you should talk to that Preacher. No, he didn't want to do that but the Lord was working...and on February 10th Bro Sam came in our home and was genuinely interested in our family...after visiting with us he asked the question to Shane that forever changed our lives--"what would happen to you if you died today" Shane answered "I really don't know" Bro Sam "would you like to know" Shane "YES I would" So that night, February 10th, in our little mobile home just across the road from Calvary Baptist, Shane called on the Lord! I truly thought I was saved. Never had doubts, but the Varghese left that night knowing I was lost and began to pray for me. (I got saved in November, that's another story) I've been thinking about them a lot lately, they didn't just "get" him saved and walk away they immediately started discipling us. They had us into their home weekly to do the ABC's of Christian Growth.

3 days later on February 13th, our first anniversary, Shane was baptized. Now on our first anniversary we would start the journey...and learn what "true love" is all about.

Have you ever stopped and thought about how each choice we make, each decision, each path however you want to term it, how that could potentially affect someone else's eternity? Where would I be right now had Shane not joined the Air Force? What about Pastor Ables decision to follow the Lord's direction to Knob? What about the men who took the time to talk to a shy young man from the bootheel of Missouri? What about Bro Sam being persistant to visit us? Sharing the gospel, then caring enough to show us the way...

January 31, 2000--this was a life changing day. I came home from the hospital with my first baby girl. A new baby, new mother, a new father, and a mother-in-law in the house! It was not a pleasant night. I remember it was a Sunday evening when we got home, (had had an emergency c-section at 10:40 on Friday night) it was way too early to be home from the hospital. It was Superbowl Sunday and the Rams were playing, that's about all I remember about that. I do know that the Hastings came over after church to visit. As they were leaving I remember Bro. Jeff commenting to my in-laws that they should just stay the whole week! I told him it was time to go... :) I remember sitting in my chair rocking baby Taylor, I wrote my husband a note and passed it to him. It said...Do whatever you have to do to get them to leave tomorrow. It was a long night, not much sleep, they left the next morning and we had a great week as our new family. Something about bringing home a new baby, especially the first one.

As I sit here eleven years later I am truly amazed at how the Lord has blessed my life. We prayed for a baby...the Lord answered our prayer and gave me 3 healthy baby girls and 2 babies await us in Heaven.

I am so thankful that the Lord gave me the desire of my heart. So many times I would petition the Lord, give Him my burden, but then take it right back. Finally in early 1999 I realized that I was letting my circumstances (of not being a mother) control my joy. The Lord showed me that the Joy of the Lord was my strength and that if I was depending on my circumstances to make me happy I was not right with Him and I would always need something else to make me happy. So I made a decision...I gave Him my burden. I decided to live my life for Him and that if He wanted to answer my prayer and give me a baby I would be happy. If His will was for me to never have a baby I would be happy. This attitude changed my life. And literally a few months later I was able to share with so many who had prayed for me that the Lord was giving me the desire of my heart.

I'm so thankful for the memories of life, hard times and all, so that I can see how the Lord has worked in my life and changed me...