Emma Mae

Mae comes from my Grandma, my real dad's mother. I love my step-dad, my real dad died when I was almost 7, and my mom remarried when I was 8 1/2. My grandma, Collie Mae, was one of the sweetest ladies I've ever known. So when I found out that my baby was going to be a girl, I decided to find a name I liked with Mae. Emma was my choice...

She is such a sweet girl, she is my gift and I can't imagine life without her. When I lost our baby boy in June of 04, my heart was overwhelmed. In October when I found out I was expecting, my heart was fearful...When I finally made it to 20 weeks I felt relief!From the day she was born I knew she was a special gift, she always had a sweet spirit about her. The first time she smiled her whole face lit up...and it still does!

If the Lord had not have taken precious Andrew to heaven, I would have missed out on the special blessing of Emma...so I learned this truth: sometimes we have to face difficult times, and lose something precious, in order to gain a sweet gift.

I am so thankful for the gift of motherhood. The Lord has been good to me...

Choices...Decisions...Paths

February 13th, 1993 was the day I married my best friend. People talk about how amazing their first year of marriage is, us...not so much. But I'm so thankful that I can say that 3 days before our first anniversary was a day that literally changed our lives...our family tree was changed forever. February 10th, 1994--I'll never forget that night, you see we were once the people who when we saw "the church people" coming we wouldn't answer the door. The ones who literally would hide and be very quiet just to avoid the "visit"! (I kinda chuckle to myself when I'm on visitation and knock on the door and all of a sudden everything stops on the other side, I wanna say it's ok, we really don't bite! I was once that person!) So back to my story...Bro Sam Varghese and his wife Diane had contacted us several times wanting to come visit, we always had a reason why it wasn't convenient, but on this night, February 10th, I told Shane "maybe we should just let them come over and then they will leave us alone." Shane agreed and they came over. We had been visiting Calvary Baptist Church in Knob Noster since September. Shane was always the quiet one, me well I could talk to anyone... :) Thankfully there were some men who sought him out even when he would head straight to the car. I remember he would leave church under conviction and asking me questions, I would say maybe you should talk to that Preacher. No, he didn't want to do that but the Lord was working...and on February 10th Bro Sam came in our home and was genuinely interested in our family...after visiting with us he asked the question to Shane that forever changed our lives--"what would happen to you if you died today" Shane answered "I really don't know" Bro Sam "would you like to know" Shane "YES I would" So that night, February 10th, in our little mobile home just across the road from Calvary Baptist, Shane called on the Lord! I truly thought I was saved. Never had doubts, but the Varghese left that night knowing I was lost and began to pray for me. (I got saved in November, that's another story) I've been thinking about them a lot lately, they didn't just "get" him saved and walk away they immediately started discipling us. They had us into their home weekly to do the ABC's of Christian Growth.

3 days later on February 13th, our first anniversary, Shane was baptized. Now on our first anniversary we would start the journey...and learn what "true love" is all about.

Have you ever stopped and thought about how each choice we make, each decision, each path however you want to term it, how that could potentially affect someone else's eternity? Where would I be right now had Shane not joined the Air Force? What about Pastor Ables decision to follow the Lord's direction to Knob? What about the men who took the time to talk to a shy young man from the bootheel of Missouri? What about Bro Sam being persistant to visit us? Sharing the gospel, then caring enough to show us the way...

January 31, 2000--this was a life changing day. I came home from the hospital with my first baby girl. A new baby, new mother, a new father, and a mother-in-law in the house! It was not a pleasant night. I remember it was a Sunday evening when we got home, (had had an emergency c-section at 10:40 on Friday night) it was way too early to be home from the hospital. It was Superbowl Sunday and the Rams were playing, that's about all I remember about that. I do know that the Hastings came over after church to visit. As they were leaving I remember Bro. Jeff commenting to my in-laws that they should just stay the whole week! I told him it was time to go... :) I remember sitting in my chair rocking baby Taylor, I wrote my husband a note and passed it to him. It said...Do whatever you have to do to get them to leave tomorrow. It was a long night, not much sleep, they left the next morning and we had a great week as our new family. Something about bringing home a new baby, especially the first one.

As I sit here eleven years later I am truly amazed at how the Lord has blessed my life. We prayed for a baby...the Lord answered our prayer and gave me 3 healthy baby girls and 2 babies await us in Heaven.

I am so thankful that the Lord gave me the desire of my heart. So many times I would petition the Lord, give Him my burden, but then take it right back. Finally in early 1999 I realized that I was letting my circumstances (of not being a mother) control my joy. The Lord showed me that the Joy of the Lord was my strength and that if I was depending on my circumstances to make me happy I was not right with Him and I would always need something else to make me happy. So I made a decision...I gave Him my burden. I decided to live my life for Him and that if He wanted to answer my prayer and give me a baby I would be happy. If His will was for me to never have a baby I would be happy. This attitude changed my life. And literally a few months later I was able to share with so many who had prayed for me that the Lord was giving me the desire of my heart.

I'm so thankful for the memories of life, hard times and all, so that I can see how the Lord has worked in my life and changed me...

Ms. Lindsey

My husband and I spent 45 mins in the home of Ms. Wally Lindsey, sharing with her the precious Word of God. I'm sharing this with you in hopes it will encourage you to pray for Ms. Wally in a specific way, she has quite a story. She is the sweetest little lady. A little history...a couple of months ago she came into our morning service. A very sweet lady of whom I never would've guessed was about to turn 70! On a follow up visit we heard her amazing story, over 40 years ago she was in a church, a single mom raising 2 boys barely making it. She says she knew she was supposed to tithe but she didn't fell right about it when she was having to borrow money from her parents to buy food. One day the Pastor got up and said they were going to make public all the names of those who were not tithing, he began naming names...she said she was so humiliated, her sons too. None of them have been back in church since, until she came a couple months ago. Then she began telling of an experience she had recently had, she had had surgery and while on the table they lost her, she said you know you hear stories of people seeing "bright" lights and everything being so peaceful, she said that wasn't the case for her, everything was dark and scary. She knew she would have gone to hell had they not brought her back. She said she knew it was a warning she needed to get right with God. What that means to her, well I'm not sure. But she has been pretty faithful on Sunday mornings, she has agreed to the Basic Bible Truths study and we completed lesson one tonight. She was very open. Please pray that she will allow the Lord to open her eyes and her heart to the truth of salvation. I really believe she needs to be saved, but the world and the devil have had 70 yrs to blind her mind to "true" salvation! But greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!!! I'll keep you posted!

Grace...Amazing Grace

June 17, 2004, one of the hardest days of my life. Rewind a bit, in February, Shane was contacted by Emmanuel Baptist Church to come preach in view of a call. Wow this was not in our plans, we had another two years before we would be stepping out on our "own". Also found out that we were expecting child #3. A little unexpected but definitely excited! Well amid much "all day" sickness, we starting preparing ourselves for what lie ahead. From the first visit at Emmanuel Baptist we knew this is where the Lord wanted our family. (Scared, excited, nervous, happy, sad) However they were not sure what to do, for the next 3 months or more our lives were a roller coaster ride. Do we put the house up for sale or not, should I start packing or wait, and on and on. We did not understand why it was taking so long, but the Lord had a plan...as He always does. On June 17th I woke up crampy and spotting...I was about 17 1/2 weeks along in my pregnancy. This was a Thursday and my 18 week ultrasound was scheduled for Monday. I called Shane and he told me to call my doctor. Unfortunately he was out of town, but thankfully his nurse got me in to see one of the other doctors, rather than send me to the ER. When we got to the office they did an US...the outcome was not good. I knew by the look on the techs face that something was not right, she excused herself and went to get the doctor. She came in and looked at the US herself then explained that the baby had died. There was no heartbeat at all and no movement. She took us to the next room and explained I would have to be admitted into the hospital and labor would be induced to deliver the baby. (I had had a miscarriage in 1994 at 13 weeks, but that started on its own.) So I asked if we could go get the girls settled and then come back. So that's what I did, the next few hours were extremely hard yet I had peace. Totally unlike what I experienced in 94. You see I was in church then but not saved. This was a much harder time for me, yet the peace I had was much different.

Well I was checked into Labor & Delivery, then taken to a room. The Lord gave me such a great nurse, for which I'm very thankful. We brought the CD player and put in one of my favorite CDs, the Trebletones. They said it could take many hours for this to happen, before the delivery process would be finished. But thankfully, it wasn't too long and it was over. I asked the nurse if she thought we would be able to tell what the baby was, she said maybe, it would depend on when the baby had died. But yes you could tell...a baby boy. There was a perfect little baby boy, just not completely matured, but a perfect little baby. Andrew Shane... would be his name. They brought him back in in a little basket. They took pictures, gave me some nice keepsakes and just gave us time to grieve. A few days later we had a graveside service surrounded by our Pastor and his wife and our closest friends. The Lord is soooo good to me.

Just 3 days later on Fathers Day, Emmanuel Baptist Church called my husband as Pastor. Wow...then it was like the Lord said...this is why it has taken so long. I was going to need my church family to get through this really tough time. I have to say it would have been much harder to go through being in a new town, new church. The Lord kept me where I needed to be to go through one of the hardest times in my life. So again I see the Lord's timing is perfect.

Just a few months later, in October I found out I was expecting. Emma Mae was born the next May, and what a joy she is!

Yesterday we had a busy day, and while I had thought about the date that morning I just went about my day. While driving I decided to change the CD, and put in the Trebletones, and was taken back to that specific time in the hospital room with my husband. I know the Lord allows things in our lives to grow us but also to be able to be a help to others. So, I have truly tried to let that experience grow me, but also to think back on that time and truly see the Lord's hand, and timing moving in my life.

Andrew Shane--"I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." I Sam 12:23 (this is what Shane chose to put on his stone, I think is perfect. Wish I was there in Springfield to put flowers on...

A Change In Our Family Tree

It's February 10, 1994 Shane and I are approaching our 1st anniversary. Our first year of marriage has not been...well...full of bliss I guess I could say. We both want what we want and really didn't know how to love each other. We came from "dysfunctional" families you might say. Unfortunately we had some doozie (is that a word) of fights that first year, and we have said probably wouldn't have made to our first anniversay if not for the phone call we received. It goes something like this...Ring, ring (a little Michael Trenty hee hee) I answer the phone..."Hello"--"Hello Ms. Tammy this is Sam Varghese from Calvary Baptist Church how are you tonight? Diane and I were wanting to stop by to visit with you and Shane is tonight a good time?" (I cover the phone and say its Sam from the church wanting to come over again!, you see they had tried on several occasions and we would make excuses. Sadly we were even those people who when you are door knocking would pretend to not be at home! So I say to Shane why don't we let them come over, then maybe they will leave us alone, he agrees.) In a sweet voice I reply,"Sure that would be fine what time." From the time they entered our home we knew they cared about us, they talked about this and that just spent time making us feel comfortable, then Bro. Sam asked a question. You see the Lord had been dealing with Shane for some time but he kept going back to that profession and baptism that had occured as a child, I would tell him you should talk to that preacher maybe he can help you. But when the question was put to him that night "Do you know where you will spend eternity?" Shane answered, "No" then Sam asked,"Would you like to know?" Shane said,"YES!" So they went to the back bedroom of our little 2 bedroom mobile home and Bro. Sam opened the Bible and showed him how to be saved. Shane called upon the Lord that night and it literally changed his life. Which in turn changed mine...

Bro. Sam and Diane took an interest in us, they knew we had been avoiding them, they never acted like it. They immediately started having us over to go through the ABC's of Christian growth. They didn't criticize me for coming to their house in blue jeans, never even made me feel uncomfortable, they didn't preach at us about music or movies, they loved us where we were. Why because that's what the Lord wants us to do. We aren't the ones to change people He is, if we are the cause for the change, it won't last! I truly thought I was saved, they had enough discernment to know I wasn't but they put that in the Lord's hands as well. It wasn't until about 5 months later that I got saved. That's for another day....

But the thought for today...there are those who seem disinterested...don't give up! We were those people we thought we could just go to church here and there, but the Lord had other plans, and thankfully the Varghese were faithful! Didn't give up! The Lord loves people, even those hard to love ones, and He loves them through us!!!

Taylor Grace

It is hard for me to believe that it was 10 years ago that I was in the hospital getting ready to have my first born child. A couple of weeks after she was born, Shane and I would celebrate our 7th anniversary. It took 7 years for the Lord to answer my prayer--to be a Momma, to hold my own baby in my arms! As most of you know those were not easy years for me, but truthfully I wouldn't change them, why? Because the Lord made Himself real in my life. He showed me that no matter how much I wanted a baby if that wasn't His perfect will for me, then 10 babies wouldn't give me true joy. I had to learn that living in the Lords will and doing what He wanted, being who He wanted me to be is what would truly give me joy and make me happy. It took a long time but when I finally realized that...WOW what a change it made in my life. PEACE....but guess what happened then...He gave me the desire of my heart. After probably 100 negative pregnancy test I saw what a positive one looked like! I'll never forget being able to share that joy with the special people who had prayed for us. Taylor's middle name is Grace because it is my Father's grace that got me through those tough times. Taylor has truly been a joy to us, and I'm so very thankful the Lord answered my prayer! Praying for her salvation...