Grace...Amazing Grace

June 17, 2004, one of the hardest days of my life. Rewind a bit, in February, Shane was contacted by Emmanuel Baptist Church to come preach in view of a call. Wow this was not in our plans, we had another two years before we would be stepping out on our "own". Also found out that we were expecting child #3. A little unexpected but definitely excited! Well amid much "all day" sickness, we starting preparing ourselves for what lie ahead. From the first visit at Emmanuel Baptist we knew this is where the Lord wanted our family. (Scared, excited, nervous, happy, sad) However they were not sure what to do, for the next 3 months or more our lives were a roller coaster ride. Do we put the house up for sale or not, should I start packing or wait, and on and on. We did not understand why it was taking so long, but the Lord had a plan...as He always does. On June 17th I woke up crampy and spotting...I was about 17 1/2 weeks along in my pregnancy. This was a Thursday and my 18 week ultrasound was scheduled for Monday. I called Shane and he told me to call my doctor. Unfortunately he was out of town, but thankfully his nurse got me in to see one of the other doctors, rather than send me to the ER. When we got to the office they did an US...the outcome was not good. I knew by the look on the techs face that something was not right, she excused herself and went to get the doctor. She came in and looked at the US herself then explained that the baby had died. There was no heartbeat at all and no movement. She took us to the next room and explained I would have to be admitted into the hospital and labor would be induced to deliver the baby. (I had had a miscarriage in 1994 at 13 weeks, but that started on its own.) So I asked if we could go get the girls settled and then come back. So that's what I did, the next few hours were extremely hard yet I had peace. Totally unlike what I experienced in 94. You see I was in church then but not saved. This was a much harder time for me, yet the peace I had was much different.

Well I was checked into Labor & Delivery, then taken to a room. The Lord gave me such a great nurse, for which I'm very thankful. We brought the CD player and put in one of my favorite CDs, the Trebletones. They said it could take many hours for this to happen, before the delivery process would be finished. But thankfully, it wasn't too long and it was over. I asked the nurse if she thought we would be able to tell what the baby was, she said maybe, it would depend on when the baby had died. But yes you could tell...a baby boy. There was a perfect little baby boy, just not completely matured, but a perfect little baby. Andrew Shane... would be his name. They brought him back in in a little basket. They took pictures, gave me some nice keepsakes and just gave us time to grieve. A few days later we had a graveside service surrounded by our Pastor and his wife and our closest friends. The Lord is soooo good to me.

Just 3 days later on Fathers Day, Emmanuel Baptist Church called my husband as Pastor. Wow...then it was like the Lord said...this is why it has taken so long. I was going to need my church family to get through this really tough time. I have to say it would have been much harder to go through being in a new town, new church. The Lord kept me where I needed to be to go through one of the hardest times in my life. So again I see the Lord's timing is perfect.

Just a few months later, in October I found out I was expecting. Emma Mae was born the next May, and what a joy she is!

Yesterday we had a busy day, and while I had thought about the date that morning I just went about my day. While driving I decided to change the CD, and put in the Trebletones, and was taken back to that specific time in the hospital room with my husband. I know the Lord allows things in our lives to grow us but also to be able to be a help to others. So, I have truly tried to let that experience grow me, but also to think back on that time and truly see the Lord's hand, and timing moving in my life.

Andrew Shane--"I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." I Sam 12:23 (this is what Shane chose to put on his stone, I think is perfect. Wish I was there in Springfield to put flowers on...